First, let me say a few things...
If you are sexually assaulted it is not your fault, even if you are drunk, stoned, or doing something that you really should not be doing. Someone that assaults another is a predator. On New years Eve I worked a 8 hour shift in the ER, which I did 4 RAPE kits. After work I did another 3 Kits prior to calling it a night and handing off the next 3 exams to another nurse. On the New Years day, I did another 2 kits in the ER and 4 more kits as a SANE. What all of these have in common is that the person was drunk and/or stoned, passed out and alone. They woke up with someone on top of them raping them. Yes, I get paid VERY well to do the kits as a SANE, but please put me out of a job.
Now, with that said.....
Use some common sense if you plan on getting so drunk or stoned that you don't remember who you are.
1. Use a buddy system, If a bunch of you are going out drinking, have one person there who is going to remain sober. This person can help steer you away from dangers situations.
2. Always carry a condom. Believe it or not, a predator will put one on most of the time if there is one available. No judge or jury will ever say you had consensual sex with someone if you are the one who had the condom. They will just think you where using your brain. Also, the condom is a great collection device for DNA, most the time the predator leaves it behind.
3. If your are assaulted, don't shower, wash, brush your teeth, eat, change clothes, no matter how much you want to. If you have to urinate and can't wait, go ahead, but don't wipe. I am a forensic nurse, I collect the DNA, if you wash and shower, I will have a harder time finding evidence. This is the evidence that links the victim to the predator. With out evidence, it is a he said, she said situation that could go either way.
Remember, my job is to collect the evidence. I don't judge what you do, have done, or planning to do. I need to know the truth. I am your advocate in the court room and out of it. If you hide the truth from me, I can't come to your defense because all of my testimony will be based on false information.
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I know your job is tough, and thank you for doing what you do! I remember my SANE nurse who did the rape kit on me...she was so nice and tried to make the whole situation a little easier between all of the poking and prodding!
ReplyDeleteThat is very sweet of you to say. I can't even imagine what it would be like on the other side of the table. I know the questions and exam are hard on all of victims, yet is needs to be done. I became a SANE because I saw how hard it was to do the exams in the ER, not only on the victim, but on the staff. At least doing the exams one on one, I think that it is easier on the victim. I just wish I could convince some that a predator is a predator and that being assaulted is not anyone's fault. There will always be predators out there looking for a victim.
ReplyDeleteI always read, but don't very often comment. Am loving your blog.
ReplyDeleteThank you for the work you do. I worked with a 10yo who needed your particular SANE services. The ordeal was much easier for her by having specialized care. It's got to be a difficult job.