Triage adventures

Between family, school and work, have not been able to post the last few days.



I normally do not work triage, but every once in a while I need a break from the code and trauma rooms. Triage is always frustrating and at times funny as hell.

1. Woman is brought in by family, C/O heart stopped last night for 4 hrs, my response was did you feel it stop? Do you have a defibrillator? What made you think it stopped? Her response, my doctor is crazy and said I had a perfect heart, but I use to work on the cardiac floor and I know something is wrong!!! I did compressions till it restarted.

2. Woman came in tweaking, C/O told to come here so that I could be admitted for surgery. My response, do you have direct admit orders? Who is the Doctor admitting you? Her response doctor said the only way that he would pull the two teeth that I have is if I get sick and am admitted, but I need meth patches while I am here... I really had no response after that (At Least not one I could verbalize)

3. Young woman came in, C/O bumps on clitoris. My response, when did they start? are they anywhere else. Her response, started after I felt bad for this guy and only charged him $10.00 to lick me, next time I'm gonna charge him $25.00......

4. 15 year old male came it with mother, C/O nonstop itching in genitals. Mother reports that she has found him in his room a just scratching and scratch, he told her it was itching and that is why his pants where down and that he only was using the lotion to help the itch...... Okay, give me a break here, mom needs to get a clue that her baby is no longer a baby.