Rape Calls

HA... does administration really think that I am going to answer my phone to work on Halloween????? I am running out of town (without phone) and going to a college football game. It is bad enough that am on call tonight for sexual assaults. Before you get your tighty whities all tied up..... sexaul assaults are a serious events, but come on. 75% of the calls that I get dragged out of bed for at 2am are horse crap.

Examples of last Halloween:

1. Woman reported that the devil raped her..... Me thinking does she means rapist was in a costume???? Nope, she reported that she took a road trip to hell and when she said no, he stuck his pitchfork.... you can guess that one:) Come to find out she was just released from jail and had used their phone to call the hot line. She was thinking she could score some dilaudid for being raped.

2. Woman reported that she was raped because he only gave her $20 instead of the agreed $25 for a blow job.... I referred her to the police and suggested that she report theft of services.

3. Woman reported stranger rape, which to me is one of the most dangerous. I come flying off my secluded mountain, run and set up my cameras and kits for her arrival. She gets there, police in tow for them to wait on my results. I get her in the room, start questions and exam just to find out.... "I wasn't really raped, I was just worried about the smell and fluid coming out of me, the assholes in the ER told me that it would be awhile before they could take me back, do you think that you can just give me a antibiotic and a pain shot?" I about decked her.

Finally, my favorite....

4. Guy, dressed in drag for Halloween, reported that he had gotten a little drunk and was doing body shots with a some hot chic that he just met. After a while, they went back to his place, hot chic asked him if he wanted blow job he said yup, after he gets his rocks off hot chic asks how he feels about anal play, he reports that he said he was up for anything..... after having his salad tossed, he reported he just thought she had a strap on at first and it felt good, till he felt something hot shoot in him. Come to find out guy in drag for Halloween was drunk ended up in gay club and found another guy in drag.... How the hell is that sexual assault????? Why the hell did I drive 45 minutes into town at 4am for that????

With this being Halloween night, I am sure I will be in for some crap tonight.