Wednesday, April 21, 2010
As a patient... A bit manic depressive.. humor me
As a patient, I become more and more frustrated. Every time things start going right and everything is in the right socket, something happens. I hate having EDS, yet up till now I knew that no matter what I would be okay. I knew what to expect. I knew what risks, side effects, and symptoms to expect. However, It feels like the wind was knocked out of me a few days ago. All of my joints have given me trouble and I was under the impression that there would be no more surprises, I was wrong. Apparently, the three bones in a person ear make up a joint. With any joint in a person that has sever EDS, it can become hypermobile and lead to hearing loss. Over the past year, I have hid from my decreasing hearing and increasing buzzing sound in my left ear. Finally, family and friends sat me down and made me go my hearing checked out. I am 90% deaf in the ear and my right ear is starting to act up. I have always seen a silver lining to whatever was thrown at me, yet this one has come out of left field and I do not see a positive. Every other problem a brace, pin, or joint replacement has fixed. Yet with this, a hearing aid could work, but not for long. Not even sure my insurance will cover them. What will happen to me in the end? This actually scares me, and much does not rattle me. Up till now, I have not let EDS interfere with my personal or professional goals, but how is this not going to effect my life? I have 10 weeks left for my BSN and was excepted in APN. How in the hell will I be able to be an APN, or even a nurse with out hearing? I love nursing and patient care. It sounds selfish, but I just turned 34 in march and do not see any part of this disease as fair!Yes, I know life is not fair, but I feel that there as to be some kind of balance. I know this posting is a bit manic depressive, I am just frustrated and scared. My plan is to spend the next few days curled up in bed, head under the covers with a ton of chocolate then I guess I will just have to deal with it and get on with living life.