Wednesday, May 26, 2010

To the back of the rack you go!!!!

Top 3 ways of the day to get your chart moved to the back of the rack.

1. Come in to the ER reporting that you missed your appointment at the methadone clinic and need it now. Then make an butt out of your self because the doctor has not come into the room after you being there for 4 minutes. After all you are dying!!! They other guy is already dead on the other side of the curtain, which is why according to you we are wasting our time doing compressions when you are alive and need your methadone. Oh and by the way, telling us you missed your appointment because they made it too late and you needed to score prior going to your appointment, will not gain any sympathy!

2. Check into the er for dental pain and once you get to your room you demand (not request) that we fax a letter to the court stating that you are in the er and can't make it to court. All of this after your call your nurse a B@%!#h. Guess what, after obtaining you court time, I will personally insure that you are discharged 10 minutes prior to you court time, which is 5 hours from now, and will fax the letter to the court stating what you requested. It will go something like this, "Dear sir/ Ma'am, Mrs. Crack head was in so and so ER from this time to this time." Seeing that the court house is across the street, you will have ample time to attend your hearing and be detained as your lawyer has told will happen.

3. Check into the er with complaint of cramping and abdominal pain at 10 weeks pregnant. After we find out you are not pregnant and you tell your nurse that you really just wanted a preg test and that your best friend told you to lie to get back faster.

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