Thursday, November 26, 2009
Tuesday, November 24, 2009
1. do I still have a job....... yes
2. Will I get a raise..... damn it.... nope, in fact we still are on a pay freeze
3. What will happen to all my vacation time?..... doesn't matter, I used it all a long time ago
Now,what I find funny, just got a notice that I am up for wage review and to make sure that I have all of my education and shot records up to date and turned back in, or I will not get my raise..... LMAO, what is the purpose of the review????? Am I missing something???? We have been on a pay freeze for 4 years, which means that I have not gotten a raise and will not get on for a long time. Freaking morons
Thursday, November 19, 2009
Guy comes in with his wife. she had a laceration that needed to be sutured. He was all into looking at the wound, without a problem. The minute he saw the small needle that was going to be used to numb her, he passed out cold. He hit the ground, smacked his head, and was now in the need of stitches. Instead of his wife showing any concern, she just says he always does this when he sees a needle. Now, what I don't understand is:
If the sight of a needle makes you pass out, why are you watching us stitch your wife????
If you know that you husband is going to collapse when we pull out the needle, why not warn us? why not suggest that he sits down? why the hell have him in your room?
Monday, November 16, 2009
Today he questioned why the nurse pulled a Foley out without his order and he wanted them to be written up
Me: No, I am not writing them up, I told them to pull it, It was clogged, from nursing home with debris and green discharge, nursing home notes reported last changed 3 months ago, client had 900 ml of fluid in bladder per bedside bladder scanner. Here is the form, you can write me up!
His response: none
2 hours later received call from director about me being written up for ordering diagnostic lab without order. Dr. hates women neglected to list which test was done
Me: answered with written nursing protocol signed by medical director
What I should not have done was run protocol through language scanner for his native tongue(Arabic) and posted it on his locker... opps...bad nurse
I wonder how he would respond to this posted on his locker????
تقبيل الكاحل بلدي تبين بمقبض الأمريكية
Saturday, November 14, 2009
What is it with people this month? I have had way to many objects where they should never be. 2am seems to be the magic time that I get the foreign bodies shove only god knows where. This morning was no different.
Pt came in c/o abd pain x 2 days. Fever, n/v, but was constipated and refused to give me any other details. He wanted a male doc only and he stressed this point over and over again. I have been doing this long enough to know that it is related to 2 things. He has a blockage or something shoved where it should be. Well he was out of luck, the only docs on where both female. Pt did not fess up to anything and lab work showed that he was septic. After coming out of his room, I noticed that the doc was staring at the x rays with her head cocked to the side, a look of puzzlement on her face. Anytime a doc gets this look, you have to just go see for yourself because it is something odd. The cause of this pt's pain and vomiting was indeed a blockage. 16inches worth of wooden broom handle had been inserted and broken off. Pt ended up going to surgery, going to ICU, and having his bowel redirected. The only story we got out of the guy.... He fell while sweeping and was to embarrassed to come in. I can't wait to see that surgical report.
Friday, November 13, 2009
I have three pet peeves, and everyone that works with me knows them by heart, or at least I thought so. That was until the nurse that only works two days a week decided to make me want to snatch her by the back of the head by violating every single one of them.
1. Help your coworkers. I don't want to hear that it is not your room! If the rack is full, the waiting room is standing room only, I have patients lined up in strechers down the hall, waiting room is standing room only, and your patients are taking care of, please get off of you ass and help discharge. There is no I in emergency nursing, or any position in the emergency room, for that matter. Working in the ER is a team sport. That is the only way we can get everything and keep everything flowing. Especially, when I convince our docs to help discharge, you should not be sitting there goofing off.
2. Wipe a butt, place a Foley, wheel out patients, when the techs are getting their butts kicked Just because you are a RN, does not mean that you can not do personal care. As far as I am concerned, RN means that you can do EVERYTHING from CNA to RN. And if you talk down to my staff, I swear, that I will give you the next patient that has to have Kayexalate while convincing the Doc that they do not need a rectal tube!
3. Finally, but one of the most important.... the diet cherry limeade from sonic that EMS and Docs always bring me in is ... MINE, so keep your lazy, grubby, nursitis hands off. That is my crack of choice, if I don't get it one of my multiple personalities will come out and make your life hell!
Thursday, November 12, 2009
After having my butt kicked by an 90 year old, maybe 89lb dementia patient today, which ended in me with bites, scratches, and tetanus shot and her in hard restraints. I found it humorous at what items that I end up taking form patients over the last few months.
Today, after a few bites from the above patient, I took her dentures. Now, she could only gum people.
After a homicidal/ suicidal pysc patient attempted to run away for the 3rd time, I took his artificial leg. Now, he could only hop away, which he attempted, but he was easier to catch.
I have taken a cane from a women that was attempting to hit my poor doc with it.
A bucket of snakes from some guy who was bitten catching snakes. Apparently, he was not the best snake charmer in this neck of the woods
Finally,the patients favorite, but my worst... a 10in vibrator from a patient with a lower GI bleed, who was c/o pain, but still attempting to use it.... Hmmm, wonder how he got the bleed!!!
Wednesday, November 11, 2009
Me: Hello XXXX ER, MLee, RN can I help you?
Them: I was there last night, sick and all, in bad pain
Me: Okay, what can I help you with
Them: I cant read what it says on the drug pad
Me: The prescriptions you can't read? Did you get them filled?
Them: Naw, didn't want to fill them unless it was some good shit, you know to take care of bad pain
Me: Give me you name and SSN, I will look you up and let you know what meds they wrote you
Them: Name and SSN
Me:He wrote for naproxen for pain
Them: Never had that, it any good?
Me: Yup, it is great for back pain
Me: Hello XXXX ER, MLee, RN can I help you?
Them: Ya man, just talking to some chic, the bitch told me that the drugs the doc gave me were good
Me: Yes, That chic was me, Naproxen is a good pain reliever for chronic low back pain
Them: naw, it is just Aleve, I am allergic to Aleve, Cant the doc wright me something else? I'm in bad pain
Me: sorry, but our doctors are unable to write you anything stronger unless they see you because the doctor that saw you is not here at this time.
Pt came in with c/p low back pain x 2 years, stated he was in bad pain and that bitch (me) lied to him about Aleve being good.
Doctor saw pt,went through every one of his allergies and informed him of a new pain medication that he was not allergic to. I discharged him with a Celebrex script, he flipped me the bird and said told ya I get something good..... I can't wait till he sees the cost of the script
What is so frustrating is that this pt, along with many others abuse the ER for pain medications. When they do not get what they want, they keep showing up. I am sure that he will show up again and again. Hopefully, he will not get what he wants, less than two weeks ago, I took care of him for OD on prescription meds.
Tuesday, November 10, 2009
I thought to myself, how hard could it really be to put together a few Mayo stands. Hell I have directions and tools. Well, 3 hours later, I finally get the damn things together... Would have helped if the instructions were in English. or if I knew what the freak an Allen wench was!!
Monday, November 9, 2009
Was not really sure of where to post this one, my ER blog, or my home blog because it fits into both.
The other day I was just out puttering around with odd and end chores when I heard my husband scream. He was repairing part of the chicken coop, so that is the direction I headed thinking my god what happened, is he okay, and all the other wonderful things that run through a persons head when they think that someone they love is hurt. I find him yelling and screaming, yet I can't figure out why. Then I saw it, he had nailed his hand to the chicken coop. Once he calmed down, I was unable to keep a straight face. He was stuck and there was noway to get him unstuck without cutting the board that he was nailed to. I am positive that it was painful, but come on it was pretty funny,. what made it even funnier was that it was my husband. After taking him to the ER with board, nail and all, my poor hubby had to endure my friends and coworkers. Even the ER doc was unable to keep a straight face. His words to my husband, "if it was anyone else i would not tease ya, but that was not the smartest thing you have ever done."
Just for the record, that is not my husbands x-ray.
He is fine with no real damage, but pride
The chicken coop has been patched
Sunday, November 8, 2009
Okay, I understand wanting to spice things up a bit. I have no problem with being adventurous, but checking into the ER just to get your rocks off is insane.
Apparently, a older man was going along for the ride with a much younger women. We have seen her before, all the ER's know her a little too well. She is the patient that complains of abdominal pain and vaginal conditions while requesting not to have anyone in the room with the doctor during her pelvic exams. She has a fetish for gyno beds and anything, male or female in a lab coat. Well, today was her day. She checked in for a headache, which shocked us because it meant no pelvic exam. However, she had a friend with her. I had to go and do the nursing assessment on her. As I walked into her room, I heard the shuffle of pants being pulled up. There she was buck naked, kneeling on the floor in front of this "friend", with a smirk on her face. He looked mortified, she just crawled over to me and stated, "I have always wanted to play with you" My first reaction, which I had to suppress, was to snatch her by the head and drag her out of the ER. However, I just walked out. The guy took off, security called the cops. After arresting her for lewd behavior and three other offenses, my poor ER doc still had to treat her for the headache prior to them taking her to jail. He gave her 1 gram of Tylenol
What I am wondering....
1. WTF would make her think anyone in the ER would allow her to touch us with a 10 foot pole?
2. WTF is would make her want to have sex in the ER?
3. Why was she completely naked to give a man head?
4. What is it with some people and the pelvic beds?
Some days are just long days. Unfortunately, there are more and more days where we work shorthanded. People seem to be sicker every day, and to complicate the situation, more people seem to use the emergency room as their personal doctor’s office. Today was just one of those very long days. We see these days written in the body language of the doctors and nurses that are exiting the hospital. Head down, shoulders slumped, and exhaustion in their eyes. Today, I believe that I went through almost every emotion possible before I did the long walk to my truck with the day written all over my body.
Dread hit within minutes of clocking in and realizing that four of the nine nurses scheduled had called out with flu like symptoms. This means that not only will we be short today, but for at least a week.
Ah, shit hit after someone that had no real reason to, went asystole.
Anger spread when I hit the code button and no one responded because the secretary was bull shitting on the phone with her new boyfriend.
Sadness hit when a mother came running in with a 4 week old that was blue and lifeless.
Humor snuck in when I decided that it was the perfect time to payback a doctor for handing me a snake a few months ago. I slipped a glass eye into his coffee, what a shriek he made, as he went to sip and realized something was looking back at him. Revenge is great.
Homicidal thoughts kicked in when a patient had the balls to say, “I am going to just stand here and cough in your face so you get the flu, unless you get the doctor in here right now.”
Embarrassment struck when I realized that I had a handprint on my butt from the powered later gloves. (The handprint was my own, for the record)
Gratefulness hit around 1500 when one of my doctors thought to bring me some food because I had not eaten yet.
Relief and accomplishment kicked in when I got a tube a tough patient.
Joy finally kicked in when I saw my relief come walking through the EMS doors.
Basically.... It was a long day, but for all of the crap, I still enjoyed it. I am just feeling a little exhausted and beaten down right now.
Saturday, November 7, 2009
There are so many crazy, insane, idiotic, and sad events that happen in the ER. However, every so often, there are those that make me smile, cry, laugh, or just think how lucky I am a to work where I do. Here are a few:
A 5 year old is brought into the ER, just yelling and screaming, complains of everything under the sun from belly ache to fever. Her parents are frantic because they have no clue what is wrong with their precious little child. Once I walked into the room and sat down to talk with her and get her to calm down a bit, she leaned over to me and asked if I could keep a secret. The horrible thoughts of what this child was going to tell were running through my head. She than produced a very small turtle out of her pocket and said I think he is hurt because he won't move. You have to fix him!!! Her big blue eyes full of tears just broke my heart. After looking at the turtle, I got a wash basin and place him in it. I explained to the child that he was just scared and was hiding. After a few minutes, he poked his head out and looked around. The little girl was so excited that she gave me the biggest hug I have ever had. She walked out with wash basin and a very alive turtle a happy camper.
While in triage, a little boy came in with classical symptoms of the influenza, plus a possible ear infection. I provide him with a mask and tried to explain that he needed to wear it so other people did not get what he had. After I put it on him, I looked away for just a minute, when I turned back around he had the mask over his ear. Trying not to laugh, I attempted to adjust the mask for him. He very logically stated," cough ain't bad, sneeze ain't bad, body hurting ain't that bad, but no one wants me to give them this ear!!!"
Thursday, November 5, 2009
Wednesday, November 4, 2009
Tuesday, November 3, 2009
Monday, November 2, 2009
Sunday, November 1, 2009
1. Pregnant patient states,
"every morning when I get up, I get sick and vomit all over the place, it goes away after an hour or so then it comes back the next day."
2. Patients says, "dude, can't you give me something for this vomiting and headache? I had one hell of a party last night and have plans tonight, I can't go out with a hangover."
3. A known drug seeker reports that his vomiting is killing him and he needs some pain medicine now for his life threatening pain. This has not been the first time this patient has requested pain meds for this complaint, so doctor tells me to tell that patient that he is not getting anything till we see some vomit. Patient says hold on and proceeds to shove his fingers down is throat.
4. 16 year old male came in violently vomiting. Come to find out he did not want to go to school so he ingested some good old fashion ipecac.